Faridah Merican bares her soul in ‘Me, Mamak’

PETALING JAYA: For someone who has spent more than six decades telling stories on stage, screen and radio, Faridah Merican found it surprisingly difficult to tell her own.

The 87-year-old’s newly released memoir, “Me, Mamak”, may only be just over 100 pages long, but getting those pages written was a journey in itself.

The idea surfaced during the pandemic when friends and publishing advocates encouraged her to finally put her life story on paper.

“I never knew how difficult it is to write a book,” Faridah said with a laugh. “It was difficult starting – I couldn’t get my head around it.”

This was even though she had the title of the book long before she had the story.

Eventually, she and her husband, actor-director Joe Hasham, found a rhythm. Faridah would talk, often jumping between decades and memories, while Joe typed everything down.

“My stories are not in any chronological order,” she told FMT Lifestyle. “I would say to Joe, ‘Today we’ll talk about this’, and we would just start there.”

That approach ultimately shaped the book, launched earlier this week in an event attended by members of Malaysia’s theatre scene, during which four excerpts were brought to life through dramatic readings.

The memoir unfolds much like memory does – wandering between childhood, family, theatre, broadcasting, and the people who shaped her life.

Faridah tells of growing up in Ayer Itam, Penang, surrounded by rambutan trees, siblings and a close-knit family. She reflects on her years in radio and television, and on a theatre career that would eventually earn her the “First Lady” title.

Asked how she would describe her life in a single sentence, Faridah paused before answering: “My life was both beautiful and complicated.”

It is perhaps that balance between joy and sorrow that gives “Me, Mamak” its emotional weight. Among the book’s most moving chapters is one dedicated to her late son, Feroz, called “It’s Very Beautiful”.

While many people might find revisiting such a loss unbearable, Faridah said the memories remain remarkably vivid.

“The memories of Feroz are very, very fresh in my head,” she said. “His friends are all still alive and we celebrate his birthday all the time.

“We also celebrate the day he died. We’re quite big on not allowing something to be forgotten.”

The chapter stands out because it reveals a side of Faridah rarely seen by audiences.

Talking about raising her son as a single mother, Faridah wrote: “In my quieter moments, I often do have certain feelings of guilt. I know I was not the best mother in the world, far from it. In fact, in Feroz’s eyes, I definitely failed miserably.”

For decades, Malaysians have known her as a performer, producer, teacher and arts advocate. In these pages, she is simply a mother grappling with loss while choosing remembrance over silence.

Yet even in a memoir, some stories remain untold: Faridah readily admits the book is not comprehensive. There were stories she chose not to include and experiences she felt belonged to others as much as they belonged to her.

“What’s left unsaid has its own reasons for being left unsaid. They know and I know, and that’s good enough.”

Indeed, that restraint gives “Me, Mamak” an honesty often missing from autobiographies. Rather than attempting to document every event, Faridah focuses on the moments that matter most to her.

When the manuscript was finally completed after countless hours of conversations with Hasham, the overwhelming feeling was relief.

“I felt good,” she said. “I felt that I fulfilled my promise, not to readers or critics, but to myself.”

Ultimately, Faridah has no regrets about what has made it into the book and what has not.

“Whether it goes down very well with everybody or not, that’s not important to me. What’s important is that I’ve done it. And my story’s out there.”

For a woman whose life has been devoted to storytelling, that may be the most fitting final act of all.

‘Me, Mamak’ is priced at RM35 and can be purchased by clicking here.